Turning Tension into Talent: Practical Ways to Transform Your Team's Performance in the Matrix

You don't get good ideas from people who always agree with you. There, blunt, but true. Not only is conflict inevitable; it's a helpful alarm bell. Left to fester, trust erodes, productivity drains and your best people head for the door. Well managed, it drives decisions, surfaces blind spots and speeds up innovation. I have witnessed both results inside and outside workplaces from Sydney to Melbourne and Perth, in some cases within the same workplace.

Why it's important now

Engaged workers on the job are a minority. According to Gallup's State of the Global Workplace (2023), nearly 23% of employees worldwide are engaged on the job. Unresolved conflict and low engagement feed off one another. When people withdraw, problems fester. When bosses dismiss personal animosities, minor issues turn toxic. So in short: bad conflict management isn't a 'people problem', it's a performance problem.

Let's start at the beginning: what is conflict really

Conflict is a signal that values, goals or incentives are mismatched. That could be a mismatch of personality between two people, or it could simply be systemic, vague role descriptions, competing KPIs, inadequate resourcing forcing teams to fight over capacity. You fix the symptom if you only talk about the personalities. Change a system, and you may not mend broken relationships. Both levels need attention.

Two helpful levels:

• Personal sources: personality, communication style, stress, values.
• Systemic sources: ambiguous roles, misaligned incentives, weak processes or hierarchy.

Both are present in workplaces in Canberra and Geelong, and both can be fixed.

Why most conflict programs don't work

Training that is more theory than practice. On paper policies that are enticing and never enforced. Leaders who talk about how they're committed to being open but close the door on hard conversations. Sound familiar?

These half measures create cynicism. If you want lasting change, invest in behavioural change, real practice, role plays, manager coaching and held to account.

A couple of opinions for which I may rile some readers, the zero tolerance stance on conflict (ban every argument) is naïve at best, and frequently counterproductive. You don't want constant war, but you do want strong challenge. Hierarchy still matters. Completely hectare like flat ones do not even decide, and the conflict of decision is unprocessed. Good leaders establish boundaries; that's not authoritarianism, that's clarity.

Valuable advice that actually works

There is no one size fits all script. But these maxims do consistently shift the odds:

1. Interests, not positions

Positions are what people say they want. Interests are what they want them for. Keep asking, "Why?" until you hit on the true needs, security, recognition and clarity, and then develop alternatives that address those needs. That's where sustainable agreements live.

2. Active listening and empathy

Quit pretending that you can multitask, you'll look like a fool. Reflect back what you've heard. Ask clarifying questions. Empathy is not agreement; it's motivation enough to negotiate. I'll just say it: When you parrot someone's grievance back to them, the emotional temperature in the room almost always decreases.

3. Normalise structured dialogue

Scheduled opportunities to unload (eg facilitated team sessions, monthly retros or "temperature checks") help stop small grumbles turning into major headaches. Embed them in your Business rhythm, not treated as a one off "HR day".

4. Training for behaviour

Workshops should be hands on, gooey and geographically relevant. It seems role plays, fishbowl discussions and coached practice work. We do half day practical sessions and people go away with scripts that they've done. It modifies people's actual behaviour, not just what they say they are going to do.

5. System fixes first, people second

If two teams are clashing because they each report into other execs with competing goals, training alone won't help. Fix the KPIs, the resourcing or the governance. Then work on relationships.

Actionable advice Steps you can take this week

• Suspend meetings when they get personal. Use "time out" phrase; proceed to fact finding.
• Use a common problem statement: "We're dealing with X.", then list interests. Things are harder to argue with if you can see the question
• Agreed some "conversation norms": one speaker at a time, no silent scrolling, lower not raise your voice. These sound obvious. They aren't. Set them. Make them enforceable.
• Experiment with a short mediation: A neutral third party might assist parties to reframe, identify their interests and generate options. It's not always necessary to have an external mediator, this can be done by well trained managers or HR.

Mediation and facilitation, when to call them in

Mediation is most effective for two party disputes where the relationship is worth preserving. Facilitation works for multi party issues such as cross functional friction. For both, neutrality, structure and the capacity to manage emotion are necessary.

If there are direct line managers in the room and they're part of the "problem" or challenge, don't put them in the room. I've also seen too many managers who are conflict avoidant or, even worse, make matters inadvertently worse. Neutral facilitation changes that dynamic.

Negotiation and compromise, a practical frame

Compromise is not capitulation. It's pragmatic. Present frame negotiation as: "What are we willing to give up so you and I can both move past this?" Make options transparent, put a cost on them and then figure things out. Most people will agree to a fair exchange if it is transparent.

Footing the Bill Expectation Setting and Boundaries are a 'GOOD THING Don't GET IT TWISTED for one minute'

Clarity avoids conflict. Where job titles are fuzzy, people bulldoze one another. Define decision rights: who decides? who consults? who gets informed? They're not sexy, but RACI charts head off plenty of "that's not my job" battles.

Boundaries are also protectors of well being, explicit after hours boundaries, meeting etiquette, the linguistic standards of respectful language.

Creating a conflict positive culture

A conflict positive culture doesn't imply that people are constantly going to be at odds with each other. It is that they know how to argue in a constructive way. It's about psychological safety: the belief that you will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes.

Those who do are simply more innovative and, yes, a few bosses will complain that this means more meetings and longer rows. So what? Otherwise you risk siloed thinking and overlooking risks.

One thing most training programs miss: senior leader modeling

Leaders establish the norms. When a CEO takes someone to the woodshed in public, you should expect it is taught throughout the rest of the Organisation instantaneously. On the flip side, if leaders stand up and say "I got this wrong" with their people, that teaches permission to articulate error. That's priceless.

Encouraging open communication and feedback

Feedback loops are the plumbing of healthy teams. Frequent, meaningful one on ones, 360 style evaluations (when they work well, not as a bureaucratic checkmark) and anonymous pulse surveys give you early warning signs.

We rely on terse, anonymous surveys given after tough projects, they nip simmering conflicts in the bud. I don't need to know results of our Employee Net Promoter Score because I see it every morning, and so does the staff when they report to work: If your senior team dismisses those results then is it any wonder that disengagement and attrition inevitably follow?

Training that makes a difference

Real, Practical and Local. One approach I prefer: a mixture, a short e module to cover theory and then a 90 minute live session based on actual examples from participants' work. End with manager coaching to embed new behaviours. This method honours busy schedules and results in genuine learning. It's also cost effective.

A few myths debunked

Myth: 'Conflict training is HR's job.' No. It's a leadership capability. Managers are the first line of defence. Train them.

Myth: "If we just hire nicer people, that will prevent conflict." Nice doesn't equal courageous. You want people who give honest feedback well, and you receive that feedback gracefully. Different skillsets.

Tools and tactics, practical list

• Use structured conversation templates: problem statements, interests, options & agreement
• Keep written records of agreements and review points. Don't trust past experience.
• Agree specific follow up dates: behaviour change is checked not taken for granted.
• Anonymous reporting facilities, but only if you act upon the input received. Nothing says "we don't trust you" like ignored whistleblowing.

What success looks like

You'll know you're making progress when:

• People surface issues early, rather than letting them fester.
• Discussions in meetings are about solutions, not blame.
• Turnover on teams with past disputes stabilises.
• Managers spend less time firefighting and more time coaching.

Uncomfortable honesty

Not every relationship is going to be salvaged. Sometimes that means the best thing for everyone involved, and especially for the Business in general, is to go separate ways. That's OK. The aim is to make those transitions respectfully and to learn from the underlying cause.

A quick checklist for leaders to consider

• Diagnose: Is this a problem with one person or is it systemic?
• Intervene early: a small intervention is better than a big clean up.
• Train: invest in practical, local level conflict skills for managers.
• Model: leaders must show humility and curiosity.
• Fix systems: poor incentives and unclear roles are repeat offenders.
• Measure: use pulse surveys and follow commitment up some way!

A parting thought, and a bit of a challenge

If your firm views conflict as a dirty word, you will clean the dialogue to sterilisation and lose the richness of divergent thinking. Encourage respectful disagreement. Teach your people to speak up, teach the rest of your team to listen. It's a combination that is rare, and it can be an edge in the one upmanship that defines big time sports.

We partner with organisations across Australia to develop practical programs that have these behaviours embedded, not through generic check lists but experiential practice, manager coaching and local application. If you favour long term performance over short term quiet, the effort is worth it.

Well handled conflict makes your organisation stronger, more creative and, let's be honest, a hell of a lot more interesting. So don't avoid it. Learn it. Practice it. And let it make you better.

Sources & Notes

• Gallup. State of the Global Workplace: 2023. Gallup, 2023. (Stat quoted: to 23% of the workforce is engaged at work.)
• Safe Work Australia. Articles on mental health in the workplace and compensation trends. Safe Work Australia, 2020 2023.